Understanding My Sexuality

I’ve been working on this post for several weeks. First, I couldn’t decide how to start it. Then, I felt a lot of pressure to say the right thing, to phrase things in exactly the right way. These kind of pieces are so important, especially for readers who are struggling to understand their sexuality. I’ve read a number of these kinds of pieces throughout the years, and they’ve all helped me in one way or another. Now I hope that sharing my journey to understanding my sexuality will help someone else. I hope my words resonate with others and bring at least one other person comfort. It’s a tall order, but I’ve tried to meet it. Here goes nothing . . .

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My Experience Being Queer, Black, and Female

I’ve been mulling over this post for approximately two years now. That was right around the time when I started thinking more seriously about my sexuality. It was also around the time when same-sex marriage was legalized in the United States, and when American media appeared to be picking up on the issue of police brutality and racial inequality. And let’s not forget about Patricia Arquette’s controversial Oscar acceptance speech, in which she initially appeared to be calling for a focus on women’s rights following ardent support from women for gay rights and black rights over the years*. I was pummeled by mixed emotion that year. I felt like I couldn’t read the news without coming across a national (or international!) issue resonating with me at my core. I had a hard time deciding which issue to focus my time and energy on or even where to focus my growing outrage. What should I be most vocal about? What was most important to me — my sexuality, my race, or my gender?

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